Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. – e.e. Cummings
Loving your career starts with loving yourself. Positive thinking starts with loving ourselves. It may sound simplistic, but when you have self-love you are also able to create surroundings that you love (including your career). In fact, self-love is the first ingredient for success. So how do we love ourselves all over again? With a nice big helping of positive thinking!
We develop certain thought habits depending on the environment we grew up in.
I, like many women of my generation were given the thought program that other’s needs are more important than our’s. So, we spend our time getting and seeking approval and love by doing for others. (Now, I am not saying helping others isn’t a great moral value, but when it comes first, always, we lose our identity.) When we are always focused on the external world and what we need to do for others we eventually lose our internal compass. This leads to frustration, energy depletion, inner anger and confusion about our life purpose. The inner compass gets lost and we feel like we have no purpose in life, just picking up other’s messes.
It is a process to change our thinking and mental habits, but let’s start trying to change these thought habits today! First, we have to figure out what makes us feel LOVE! Here is a quick exercise to help:
- Write three things down that you want.
- Then pick just one thing on the list.
- Close your eyes and imagine the one thing happening for 5 minutes. What does your world look like with that one thing, how does it make you feel?
- Set these feelings deep in your memory and feel like that right now! Take away the thing attached to it and focus on the feelings, go after things that make you feel that way today. It is the feelings that matter most, this is how our thought habits get embedded.
- Try this again tomorrow morning.
What happens when you begin to love yourself? Let’s take a look at Dr. Masaru Emoto’s experiments he did on water molecules. He gave each jar of water a sign, either something positive like “I love you”, or something negative like, “you’re ugly”. The jars exposed to the positive messages transformed into beautiful looking molecules, the ones exposed to the negative thoughts transformed into dark and broken ones.
Of course, water doesn’t have eyes, so how did this happen? The positive energy exposed the jars through positive thoughts. We are 75-80% water, so just think of what positive thoughts can do to our body.
First, we must recognize our negative thoughts, where do they come from what do they feel like? Here are the top forms negativity sneaks up on us:
- Worry and anxiety
- Criticism of ourselves and others
- Feeling guilty or a failure
- Obsessing over the things that we need to make us happy
- Focusing on our problems and not solutions.
Why wait for positivity? Here are my top tips for starting positive thinking:
1.Be aware of your thoughts
The first step to be a positive thinker is to realize where your negative thoughts are coming from. Our thinking is normally a passive action; however, need to bring awareness to our thinking patterns- we need to be mindful. By being able to take a step back and focus on how your negative thoughts are developing, your thoughts cannot have a hold of you- because you can learn how to stop them!
2. Don’t Beat Yourself Up
We need to stop criticizing! You may be harsh on yourself or others, focusing on weaknesses, failure or flaws. This can cause bumps in our relationships and lack of self-confidence which can damage your job. We need confidence to get the promotion we want, or rock that presentation, but when we are constantly thinking about what is wrong we disconnect from this and we can become stuck in negativity. Looking for more help with self-confidence? Try my free 3-part video training!
3. Don’t think the same way you always have, add another lens
Keep your perspective, things are not always as bad as they seem. We need to practice not jumping to the worse possible outcome. Our jobs can be stressful and often people start thinking this way, ever send an angry email? It happens to the best of us. Instead, start by stepping away from the situation and connect with perspective and self-awareness. Just take your time, a few deep breaths and to try to think clearly- go for a walk if you have to!
4.Learn from the situation
Whatever the situation, try to look at it as a learning experience. Think about it as practice for the next time, only now you are prepared and ready! Your failures or setbacks are just feedback, so you can continue to do great in your career.
5. Take time to meditate and journal.
Mindfulness is about being in the moment and being aware. However, it is also about reflection and having goals. Meditation and journaling can help us with these areas by helping us have a more focus, centering your goals, and focusing on your gratitude in your career. Sit down after meditation and then take a few minutes to journal, focus on your accomplishments, inner thoughts, and what you are grateful for.