Welcome to MOST LIFE and this week it’s “S” for Speaking. We are on our 3rd “D” of the 8 Dimensions of a MOST LIFE. This week as we SPEAK, we focus on our DELIVERY!
Speaking is so important to having a MOST LIFE because we are communication creatures! In this high-tech world we are on our phones emailing, texting, snap-chatting and “hurry, let me get back to everyone NOW!”
But, is it really speaking? Speaking and relating with people matters so much in how we enjoy a MOST LIFE. The right words, the right tone, the right posture. Connection!
Speaking is how we connect in our world. SO, we have to DELIVER the best spoken words and the non-spoken language. You can also visit a past Blog on speaking to review how YOUR voice sounds. SEE this past Blog CLICK HERE
I have been studying neuro linguistic programing (NLP) for many years. I am fascinated by what connects people with each other and how our brain works and relates to the “other brain”. The words we use and how we connect to the “other” person are so important. Most of our speaking and delivery is random and we just SPEAK our MIND!
Years ago, while working in a large organization, I had a team member from another department assigned to help me with this BIG project. He and I were on the same page, working well together and well, his manager thought he was spending too much time on MY project. We had a difference of opinion as the project we going to revolutionize the way we paid our employees and impact many manual processes. It was HUGE!
His boss spoke to my boss and I was “called in”. I immediately reached into my NLP bag of tricks for the meeting. I didn’t want this to go in the wrong direction, there was too much at stake.
I listened to the “boss” and then I copied his EXACT body position, including hands folded over his knee. I spoke back using the same TONE, the same PACE of voice and literally mimicked his communication style. I also used the words he used to make his point, words like think, feel or see. These words are cues into how someone processes their world. If you use the same keywords, you will relate to that person in a deep way that others won’t.
Now, you might say “Mo, aren’t they going to notice that?” but, truthfully no one notices your body position or your exact words. These are all processed on the subconscious level.
For fun, mimic someone’s body position for a while, stay in the conversation and then shift YOUR body. Chances are, they will follow your lead. You now “have” the conversation.
For more details read, Introducing NLP: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People, by Joseph O’Connor and John Seymour
If someone is using the word “see” that means they are very visual. If they use the word “hear” that means they are very auditory and if they use “think” that means they process their world deliberately. Usually these people also speak a bit slower than visual people.
As you prepare to DELIVER your messages better this week, ask these questions to get started. THE 3 BIG questions:
- What words is your “listener” using?
- What posture do they assume?
- What tone and speed do they have in their voice?
These are the three big questions you need to deliver a message that MATTERS. Those are the three questions you need to know to really SPEAK well. You need to alter your DELIVERY for that moment.
I am not saying change your personality, alter your approach. Again the posture, the words, the tone and if you pay attention to your audience, you can connect with nearly anyone.
Examine those three questions, take action!
Practice on a small meeting or a “speaking” opportunity where you can practice with posture, word choice and tone.
Download this week’s IDEASheet. Go for it. Use these techniques and play with them to match up with your audience and “see” where it gets you! DELIVERY matters!
DESIGN it! DREAM it! LIVE IT!
Here’s to YOUR Delivery!