How to Manage When it Never Ends: Embrace Life Lessons
What? Never Ends?
I know….life is a constant flurry of things…events…feelings….thoughts…..can’t we just get off and coast?
No. We. Can’t.
Life has a way of constantly flowing.
A river that never stops, always flowing.
A horse race around the track, over and over.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 weeks into a new job, I thought my entire existence was going to crumble. Cancer gives one the jag in the throat, the punch in the gut…I did wonder if I would die or how bad it would all be. When I told my boss I was so afraid of being criticized, I felt like damaged goods, I feared losing my job and this great new opportunity. (He treated me extremely well and I was honored to get back soon.)
I cried a lot and found my inner warrior (most of the time).
My career was full of speed bumps, terminations, downsizings, reorganizations, hirings, firings, bad bosses, some not so bad bosses, great co-workers, wonderful teams and sometimes insurmountable odds. Learning that it is never over and the lessons don’t end, I finally resorted to saying, “I must be getting prepared for something big, because this is (%^&^*sf&#$%$^) difficult!”
The lessons came fast and they repeated. Learning from them was sometimes my biggest pitfall.
Career, work, seem to go along (or not) and all of a sudden,
Your boss leaves (she was the best),
Your company gets bought out,
The department you work in gets moved under another division,
Your co-worker does something stupid to you,
The position you thought was surely yours goes to someone else,
Your review comes up and it is shocking,
Or….your review is great, but there’s no additional pay this year.
Sometimes a crushing trauma in your life makes work more difficult.
Life and work don’t just happen to us.
They happen for us.
I finally get it.
And….it never ends. Never. Ever.
It is a joy to have the lessons to grow, I love growing.
Growth never ends and our soul yearns to keep emerging, sometimes this is the most painful, when we don’t listen. Or, when we listen and make a “bad” decision so we lose our self-confidence.
When we stop expecting the life lessons and growth to end, it starts to flow better.
Clients I work with remark (sometimes weeks later) that they didn’t realize they could be so happy. They surprisingly tell me,
“I was raised to believe it all had to be a struggle.”
Work has to include suffering to be called work, RIGHT?
No. Work can be easy and fun and you can be the star you imagined.
You imagined it being fun one day, remember?
Before you needed to fit into the role they told you to, before all the great grades and projects made you feel like a performance junkie. You can begin to live from the inside out. That’s true kick ass style.
You can be a rock star and life can be fun.
Here are the secrets to this beautiful way of living and working:
- Realize that growth and life continues. Work and life are a constant flow and lessons are there to help us. Listen to the lesson. It is there for you.
- Stop waiting for the right time to arrive. One real success strategy is to compress the time between what you want (meaning you don’t have it) and where you are now. Feel the way you would feel if you were already there. You know, feel like the Vice President. Act like her. Be her. Be that person, now. When you feel the feelings now, you compress time and take the “wanting” out of the equation. It is simple, just not so easy.
- Take all the life lessons and learn. Pause, say to yourself, “hmmmm that’s interesting.” Become the observer and act from the point of the observer, not the reactor.
- Stop judging yourself. One sure way to stay stuck in a rut is to keep repeating to yourself how you must be, stupid, too loyal, stubborn, not smart enough. Whatever it is that you are judging yourself for….well….just stop it. Decisions, navigating life has enough challenges, adding self judgement will guarantee you will stay stuck , or it will guarantee that the next job or boss will be the same. The LAW of Attraction (it is a scientific Law) will guarantee the same attractor pattern. So, go ahead and love yourself no matter where you are. Be easy on you. Be easy and do something that makes you feel great.
- Love the horse you are riding, but be prepared to change. On your journey you may have to change horses. Be grateful for the ones who brought you this far. There is one that fits you better now. Find your inner voice (not the fear one) and make the necessary change to take you where you want to go. In order to move forward you have to step away from where you are….however that is for you.
These are the best ways to enjoy the ride. Enjoy the race. Keep going round the track, wherever you go, love it, feel great now, take the lesson and stop judging. You are perfectly fine now. Be your awesome self and make the moves you’ve been wanting to make.
P.S.- You are in charge of your life. You get to create it. You do. Not your spouse, not your co-workers, not your boss.
What would you do today if you were in charge? Do that!
Blessings From Your Kick Ass Coach,