I want you to overcome these tragic problems I hear all the time.
The most difficult part of changing for the better is that we have a loyalty to our negative thinking.
Yes, you do! It is sometimes labeled as , “this is just who I am, I’m not good at interviews,” or, “I don’t think they will hire me, look at my resume”…
or other limiting self stories…“I’m just a nervous person, I don’t do well in big companies,”“Bosses are always so difficult,”“I’ve never done that before, they won’t hire me.”
We hang on to these beliefs to save ourselves the pain of not getting what we truly want, so we don’t ever go for it. It would hurt too much to not get the job, raise, promotion…so why even go for it? “I’ll just stick to my limiting beliefs and not grow, make more, do more or be more….life is meant to be hard and harsh…”
So the first thing we do is cling to our stories so we don’t have to take responsibility for any outcome. Then, we get bad outcomes because we haven’t stepped into our authentic power.
The second most difficult thing is realizing we only know what we know. Your experiences and those of people around you are how you see the world. It is just how it works. When we expose ourselves to others who think differently, who have been where we haven’t been, in experiences, travel, etc…our mind opens up to possibilities and perhaps “I can”.
Expose yourself to others and know that your better life is possible when you trust and open to someone (a good coach, perhaps) to open you up to what is possible for you. Only take career advice from someone who has achieved more than you– who has been in places and accomplished more than you. Your gremlin mind may resist- again, holding on to only what you know.
Each day in my Kick Ass Career Course where women are committed to taking their careers up a notch or two (and many have, gaining $25,000 or more in salary increases, achieving the raise or promotion, feeling awesome in life and career!) —
Each day the journey may look like my favorite childhood book. The Little Engine That Could, by Watty Piper, that book is a great story of climbing to heights we have never known…it is the story of knowing you can get to an outcome even if you never have before. That book created in me a strong knowing that whatever I set my heart and mind to, I can achieve. Creating the possibility in one’s mind is the beginning of inspiration!
But…we are “brainwashed” by well meaning friends and family… “My family says I should just be glad to have a job” This is scarcity thinking at its best, and not for your best. This is fear based and not empowering to you.
“I don’t know if I can get a higher paying job, I’ve never done that before!” Says the novice as I push her out of her comfort zone and into the world of — “Everyone did it the first time!”
There is not one person who is a success who came with experience – we all have that first Manager job, that first Director job….and the first Vice President role and the first time….for any role.
There is always that time when you are nervous and have to shut your eyes and GO!
If you haven’t felt that in a while, it is time to grow!
Here are 3 ways to overcome the deafening, death march of self- doubt!
1. Suspend Disbelief!
That’s right, pretend in your mind and heart that it will be possible and you can do it. Suspend disbelief means to turn off the “monkey mind” as I call it, shut down the gremlins! Logic never beat grit and rationalizing never beat belief. And having all the boxes ticked on a job application doesn’t have to happen to land that job. Enough of a match and confidence that you can do it. Suspend disbelief and know in your heart that there is more for you.
2. Create an over abundance of arrogance (just kidding, not really).
Yes, those who walk around with their agenda at the top of the agenda have something to teach us. Yes, learn from that smug fellow who thinks he can, just because….I know how annoying it is, rather than get annoyed, know that a dose of that feeling will take you a long way. Permission to give permission, you won’t be an arrogant jerk…you’re not that person and won’t be. But, borrow a bit of it to get you past where you are now. Walk in the room KNOWING. YOU. GOT. THIS.
3. Go into uncomfortable!
And sit there, feel it and notice you are not dead. Practice feeling a bit anxious and not taking action. Practice pushing yourself to do something, just to feel uncomfortable. Change your routine, wash your hair last in the shower, eat dry cereal, go a different route to work, wear your shirt in or out, whichever feels weird. DO ANYTHING to make yourself uncomfortable. Oh, here’s a good one, pick up the phone and use it as a phone. Call a long lost colleague and see what they are up to these days. Share what’s up with you. Offer to help them. Get uncomfortable because it means you’re stretching yourself, not to tolerate something that is not helping you.
Let’s talk career, let’s talk confidence, let’s talk success. We don’t fuss over little set backs, we power through, let’s do this…drop your “self-limiting” stories, expand your reality and go for it. When you are able to proceed toward something you’ve always wanted to do, by suspending disbelief, getting full of your awesomeness and knowing that growing is uncomfortable….you are on your way! Way to empower yourself.
